Sunday, March 26, 2017

How Much Sex is Too Much Sex?

Random thoughts here today, people! Be warned. I'm avoiding my book. It's in the wicked, gnarly stage where there's a twist that I'm having trouble figuring out.

So, let's get started, shall we?

How Much Sex is Too Much Sex?


I've actually been thinking about this since last week in regards to writing. I enjoy some heated moments in what I read and what I write. Usually it's the manhandled, younger/smaller dominate kind, but I've been known to enjoy the sweet and gentle on occasion. There are one or two writers I've loved reading in the past who rarely write on page sex. Megan Derr is one although I did actually read one of hers that had graphic details this week, but that woman can give a pretty lovely tale without mentioning a rod or a pole anywhere. Can't remember the other author right now.

But, is sex in a book necessary? You know, I guess it's completely up to the reader. There have been moments when I've been so interested in the storyline that I've totally skipped the sex. I know it's coming. I feel the signs. I scan over the grunts and moans and get back to the story. When I look through my saved bookmarks of my favorite books, rarely is it the sexy times. There may be the moment that leads into it, could be the moment after, but there are only a very few where it's the sex I go back to read. For me, it's the way the characters interact, it's the relationship, the spot where I realize this guy I've been waiting on to finally act, to just take over, is truly about to, and I have to read it again and again.

Now, those moments? Beautiful.



On Facebook, there's been the conversation of what defines a clean book. Some say a clean book is a book without sex? Really. There are some pretty horrific books out there without sex that I wouldn't let my kids near. Others are taking the challenge to write stories without on page sex. That's a tough one because you have to know how to give the heat, the passion, and the intimacy. Not saying it isn't possible. It's beautiful when a person knows how. Take me nearly there, like we're edging the pleasure, and I'm sold.

Then there's the other extreme. Too much sex. When is that exactly? Is it when the majority of the book is about the grunts and moans, and very little story actually happens? I think that depends on the reader as well. What's the reader looking for in their book? I bet that many readers can pretty much tell you the authors they read specifically for their own moments. I know my list for the dark and sexy kind, the oh-so-sweet kind, the fairy tale kind, the mysterious kind, and the I need a quick fix kind. As a reader myself (because that's why I became a writer anyway), I don't just read one type of book although I only read m/m. (That's it. I'm 43. I read and enjoyed everything under the sun until I found my genre about four years ago, one I used to write about in my teens. Bam. It's over. That's all my book fund pays for, the hard and male kind.)




 So, why do we write about sex if there is this question of clean, off page, too much sex? Don't know the answer to that myself. Could it be we're human, and we like to read where someone gets it right? We have enough stress in our lives. Why not enjoy a little fantasy? I will say my hubby's happier because of the books I read. Just sayin.

Why do I write it? I enjoy it. No, my guys aren't humping their way through the entire book, but I save the moments where they get up, close and personal and go in for the long haul complete with thrusts, pumps, touches and tender words. They have off page as well, but I like them to get physical.
Do I want the book overwhelmed by it? No. Those who enjoy reading my work know I'm a character writer. I love getting to know my people. All of them. I love story. I love plot. I love meat, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the sexy roller coaster ride along the way. So, I provide them. This also doesn't mean that there aren't a few fabulous books that have been awesome without it.



When do I write it? It depends on the book and sometimes on the length. If it's a short story, it may have one or none. There may be allusions to it but nothing descriptive. If it's a novella or a novel, then I've given myself time to play.

How do I write it? I go with my characters. I like a little surprise sometimes. I like the younger, smaller guy to take over. Other times, I love the alpha male. Then, there's the moments when I enjoy a good switch.

Keep in mind that I've only written four books with another three in editing. I'm new. And, since I'm new, I have to do my research. Would you like to write about sex, but you're not sure how? Do you know what your heat levels are?



Check out the articles below for some excellent ideas:

Sex in Fiction—Do They or Don’t They?

by Fiction Editor Beth Hill 
http://theeditorsblog.net/2011/03/03/sex-in-fiction-do-they-or-dont-they/
 It's the Editor's Blog, and it's pretty amazing on the details, the do's and don'ts. Give it a read.


Ten Top Tips For Writing Sex Scenes by Emma Darwin


Loved this one, too. Packed full of good advice but sectioned in a way you can scan for what you need.

With this done, maybe I should get back to my book.

The one that's scrambling my brain is Flirty and Red. Flirty's a Puerto Rican nurse who loves to chat. Red's a cowboy from Louisville who just can't get away. In the end, he doesn't want to. Neither does his beast. Yeah, it's that twist right there that's killing me.

Until next time, family.

Love,
Deja




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